Warts’ Revenge

Warts' Revenge on Sun 15th Nov 2015

If collective bids were admissible, then the sixteen runners of this year's Revenge would now be nervously awaiting the award of the Pertex later this month. In a rare break between foul weather, our heroes splashed their way across Rud Hill, Friar's Ridge etc., yet in perfect visibility the entire troop took a somewhat right-ward line to Burbage Bridge, before passing as per instructions over the bridge rather than under the swollen culverts.Much worse was soon to come as leaders Josh and Paul F ran clean past the bottom of the Plummet, only recovering via a ponderous heathery line on the flanks of Carl Wark and back over to Higgar.Whilst we have come to expect nothing less from Josh (a worthy opponent for Dave Lund in frontline walkabout), Paul – as organiser of the Burbage Skyline – should probably have known better; and as for Roy S, who continued past the Plummet almost as far as the packhorse bridge, well this was only his fifteenth running of the Revenge.

Waiting atop Callow Bank in a particularly bracing headwind, the RO was further bemused by the variety of poor lines taken up through the bracken, with Carl appearing from the left rather than right and Roy topping out with a battered black brolly in hand.Kris G had assumed a significant lead by this point, whilst Phil C and Adi, having made the classic error of dropping too soon to the road off the back of Higgar, then compounded their mistake by trespassing across a couple of fields before climbing a wall to emerge at the lane junction three hundred metres north-east of the Mitchell Field finger post.Had they appreciated their error, and back-tracked to the checkpoint, then all may have been forgiven; observed by both the RO and a random ex-chair out on a gentle gambol, however, they turned right regardless, climbing Callow Bank direct, and thereby earned an hour's time penalty (by popular consent, though the RO was all for disqualification).On asking whether he'd run with Phil before, Adi hastily retorted "No, never met the bloke until today", in a manner which strongly suggested he'd not be making the same mistake twice.To the losers the spoils, however, with Adi taking home a pair of garish waterproof trousers (for wettest runner), and Phil the plumber's u-bend (for most incompetent navigator).

Father and daughter Paxman were still talking to one another as they reached the top of the Bank, as was first woman with a dog, Ruth, whilst Jim O and Moz were looking good for their best finishes on the Revenge … well, ever.Hot footing it back to the start/finish, I arrived a few minutes before Kris, deservedly taking his first DP race victory, followed in short order by a grinning Carl.An honourable mention to Lewis and Rose for the best sprint finishes of the day, and to Simon B for the worst line off Rud Hill. All but two competitors, plus a couple of random spouses, retired to the Norfolk Arms for the prize-giving at the end; as sponsored by Austin Frost's cellar.Enough junk to reward every runner, and one or two vaguely useful items to boot, topped off a very fine morning's racing (and running around in pointless circles).Thanks to all for taking part, and here's to the next time.

Willy